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1)As soon as they mention their product, say "I’m not looking for one of those at the minute – but my cat is. I’ll put him on." Then make purring noises on the phone. Perhaps simulate a furr ball.

2)Ask them what they dreamed of being when they were little. Chances are it wasn’t "working in a call center" which will make it easy for you to point out that they are a failure.

3)Try repeating, laughing or asking "Why?" to everything they say. These are all very powerful methods as they require no skill, creativity or thought on your part what-so-ever, merely a steely resolve to annoy your caller.

4)Tell them they’ve got a great voice and you’d like to hire them to do voice over work. Even go as far as arranging an audition to waste as much of their life as possible, preferably on a day when they’ll have to take time off from work.

5)Ask them if they are selling something. After they’ve said something like "Oh, no, no, no … " say earnestly "That's too bad, what a shame, I LOVE BUYING things over the phone," and hang up.

6)Tell them you are too busy right now, but if they leave their home phone number, you will be glad to call them back. Then say, "Oh you don't want to be bothered at home, now you see how I feel!"